Strength out of fragility

My posts here recently, have described loss, primarily of mobility, and temporary in nature. I find myself immured in loss, though I have much about which to be thankful. My blessings include a wonderful spouse, a caring family, work that I love, and a very comfortable life, even with a busted kneecap. Having been unable to be up, about, and active over the last four weeks, I have had time to be reflective, and this is a good thing. How often do we rush about in our own lives, and devote too little time to considering both the minutia, and the bigger picture.

During this period, the mind takes turns through areas that are uncomfortable. I ponder situations that perplex me, and find that I am still perplexed. The loss of mobility, and the dependence on others, leaves me feeling helpless, and prone to tears. The tears come so easily because there are situations that present themselves at this time of life that leave me somewhat fragile. The loss of mobility can be an analogy for deeper losses in that they are both visceral. I cannot clean up the mess five feet away because I cannot get down to it. I know that both adversity and loss are character building, and I am mostly grateful for it. How often now can I speak to someone else’s pain and fear because I have experienced and addressed my own. While there are no answers to some situations, there is solidarity in shared experience. I met a new friend several months ago, through a shared experience, and found that I can cry for her, as often as I cry for myself. Tears in this context are shared in so many ways, and I hope to join in the tears of others to help them bear their burden.

I listened to Leonard Cohen’s song, Allelujah, sung by Rufus Wainwright, this morning. It is so beautiful in so many ways, that tears were flowing long before the end. This release of emotion means to be that I can continue to work through my own pain, contribute to comforting others, and at least leave my temporary injury behind in the next month or two. Other losses can be seen through a different lens, at least temporarily, and for that I am thankful.

Comparison across the age spectrum

While having all the time available to recover from an injury, I am feeling compelled to think back to previous injuries. When I was seven, I broke one of my arm bones while ice skating. This mishap occurred in summer, and the only real inconvenience for a seven year old, was not being able to go to summer camp at the prescribed time. I got my cast off prior to beginning third grade, and promptly forgot the incident once the pain and cast were gone.

Since then, I have had the normal bumps and bruises, until over a decade ago, when I fell and broke my left wrist. This occurred at the onset of a week of fieldwork between quarters when I was working on my undergraduate degree. We were at the fieldwork site, the incident was painful, embarrassing (as so many people saw me in my nightgown), and I had to be delivered to a local emergency room by one of my professors, again in my nightgown. As happened this time, my husband arrived at the emergency room a few hours later to rescue me and dry my tears. The next few weeks were filled with doctor appointments, a cast, followup appointments, another cast, physical therapy, and the amazing experiences presented by riding the bus carrying a backpack full of books and only one functional arm. Injuries of this magnitude, and not very significant from a wider perspective, do not seem to heal as quickly as they did when I was seven. I do not have full range of motion in the injured wrist, all these years later. The point of these reminiscences is that at some point vulnerability sets in, and while I expect to be up and about my usual business within a month or two from my injury date, I will again be fearful of falling. What will it be that helps me to slam the door on that fear? Perhaps it is best to maintain a small quantity of that fear, in terms of caution rather than incapacitation from it, but it does seem a shame to have to deal with it at all.

A cost for me with this injury that I am feeling sorely, is that I am not walking the neighborhood as usual, as spring begins to arrive. I have been walking my neighborhood, along with others, for over a decade, and am missing the plants, houses, and dogs, that I am used to seeing. I always plan to walk past a tulip tree a few blocks over when it blooms, several times, because it is stunningly beautiful. I want to stand and gaze at it, but feel that anyone who noticed me would think I am creepy. So many plants needing to be admired, and I cannot do it for another month or two. Thinking about seeing the daffodils, tulips, primroses, rhododendrons, azaleas, along with the flowering trees that will soon be bursting into color and splendor, makes me so sad to think I might miss them. I have my own as well, and will try to satisfy my extreme need to see color and beauty with them. I am sure that our dogs will be happy to accompany me into the side-yard to sit and gaze for a while. Ah, the pleasures of life, whether injured or not.

From Injury to recovery and beyond

From injury to recovery and beyond:

What does injury do to the body and mind? For me, it means that in a heart beat I am on the floor having broken my kneecap. There is no getting up to dust one’s self off, and continue on with the day. Instead it meant calling 911 and being rescued and taken to the local emergency room. The fact that I have been working toward a healthy middle age for decades seems to make little difference. It seems to not matter that I am fit with strong bones; the body breaks down when presented with a concrete floor.  There are many perspectives from which to view an injury, including physical, professional, relationship, and emotional.

From the physical standpoint of injury, It is intuitive to understand the physical pain, tremendous inconvenience, and the burden for others’, whether they are happy to help or not. Suddenly, it is no longer a simple matter to visit the bathroom, but an ordeal that begins painfully, and progresses to inconvenient and irritating. Bathroom breaks have to be planned for.  Bathing becomes a tremendous ordeal because at all cost the injured member must be kept dry. Vulnerability is another product of injury. In trying to get around the house and take some of the burden off my amazing caregiver, I fell again, further injuring myself, but not my broken bones, thankfully. What this means to me is that I can no longer feel confident when walking on the floor, moving quickly down a set of stairs, and walking outside in the rain. Having fallen, and broken a limb before, it took me years to regain my confidence and lose my fear of falling. Now I get to start that all over again.

Professionally, my injury means that my students will have to have a different pathway to the end of the quarter. It means that one of my colleagues steps in to help fill the gap in class time and access, and subsequent quarters will need to be rearranged. The good news is that my injury is fully covered, and includes time to recover

There is the sentiment that when you are down you find out who your friends are. This is both true, and not true. True, friends and co-workers have rallied around with delicious prepared food, cards and flowers, phone calls and visits. What injury and home-stay does in the absence of these things is isolate me from my usual social contact. While I am very fond of silence, when you can hear the silence, it feels like too much.

Thankfully, I am one of the most fortunate people on the planet in that I have an amazing and loving spouse who has been my constant caretaker. I also have fully paid sick leave, access to quick and outstanding medical care, wonderful family and friends, and lots of time with my pets.

Feeling so fortunate to live in an era when quality healthcare solutions (surgery, braces, and support for recovery) are available to me, I have been pondering how my injury to recovery would look so different without these benefits. What if I were single without home-support? It would be much more difficult to take care of daily living activities. And, without home support, the opportunity for re-injury or setbacks, additional injuries, would be much more likely. I have someone to provide a steady hand to help me get around, and take me to appointments. What if I had no health insurance? This is true for so many people, both locally and especially on the global level. What if I had not received the surgical procedure in a timely manner to stitch me back together? My injury would have healed after a fashion, but walking normally and without pain would not be assured.

The take-home message for me is that even on a bad day, my life is much easier than it is for many others who have not suffered an incapacitating injury. All because of my resources, for which I am very grateful.

Fall walks, spiders, trash, and construction workers

Again today, I took my unruly dogs walking in the neighborhood. I love to walk at this time of year because of the color and the many feasts for my eyes, also for the cooler weather and still not having to wear any kind of a coat. This last benefit will be over soon. Another of the wonders of walking in the neighborhood at this time of year are the beautiful displays of spider webs. Today is foggy, and when there is fog in the Fall, the spider webs are visible in abundance. These webs are master creations of skill and exquisiteness that I love to see. Not far into our walk there is a row of juniper hedge that features about 20 plants. In between each plant there are two to three magnificent spider webs. It would be my pleasure to stay and feast my eyes on this bounty of artwork, and feel like I am cheating myself by needing to walk by. I do wonder what the owners of the house would think if I were to station myself outside their dwelling and gaze upon the webs to my heart's content. I suspect that they would not be appreciative. Another major treat at this time of year is a house on our walk route that has three magnificent maple trees that bloom bright crimson. It is my practice to walk/drive by there as often as possible during their morph from green leaves to red, and then their ultimate fall to the ground. At present, this annual spectacle is almost entire crimson, but with one section that is still greenish and a little behind the other leaves. The contrast is magnificent. All too soon, this display will be gone until next year. Again, I wonder if the inhabitants of the house would mind if I stood and admired for a period of time, rather than walking briskly by.

Today was our first day walking since last Friday. Over the weekend, and many if not every weekend, trash begins to accumulate at bus stops, in the park that we pass, and everywhere else. The bane of trash collectors like me is that once an area has been picked up, a few days later it needs to be done again. While this does not keep me from making my rounds to pick up trash, it does make me wonder about the thought process that is, or is not, taking place when humans drop trash. Suspecting that I will never know how such decisions are made, or not, it does keep me busy. By the end of our walks, I almost always have a full plastic bag of trash to sort and dispose of. At this time of year when Halloween candy is being sold and consumed everywhere, a plethora of 'fun size' candy wrappers are in evidence. Following Halloween, we will move on to the next variety of seasonal trash. That makes it sound like there are seasons of trash, and perhaps there are. Here's to feeling compelled to pick up trash!

Another feature of our walks, is meeting construction workers. Our maniacal dogs gave up spending energy barking and lunging at construction workers long ago. We meet many of the same flaggers while a construction job is in progress, and many of them are confirmed dog-lovers. Perhaps that is a prerequisite (unspoken and unacknowledged) for the job. I find it a pleasure to meet others who love dogs, and are happy to share a few words and smiles. There is something of a community when people can interact, pet dogs, and share a few minutes with each other. For someone who used to be very shy indeed, it is a pleasure to meet others who want to connect in this way.

Who would have thought that walking dogs in my neighborhood could be so rewarding; I would not have, until it happened to me.

From News Reporting to Fall Roses

Two days ago, I ended a long hiatus from listening to NPR while I am working at home. I had unplugged due to increasing frustration with the inability of the press, public or otherwise, to report actual news, rather than the topic du jour, or science that is not really new, but becoming more and more important and relevant while not spurring action. I do support public radio, and will continue to do so because at least there, there is a desire to report fully and objectively whatever is going on locally, nationally, regionally, and globally.

Having said all that, I turned to my local NPR station only to find that endless time slots appear to be devoted to the lapse of security that is the Secret Service. I think we can all agree (most of us surely), that our President, his family, and those who work with and for him/them, need to be protected from those that would seek to do them harm. However, does that mean that most, if not all, business has to grind to a halt to analyze the issue/lapse down to its minutiae? I think not. Is bold action called for? Yes, the head of that service resigned amid calls for her to do so. A shake-up, or at least a review of procedures and policies for securing the First Family, and their entourage is reasonable. Now that that has been undertaken, may we get back to the real business of the American people? I saw/heard at least as many reports about the Secret Service debacle, as compared to the Ebola epidemic that is building on itself. Surely, there are many other issues needing to be considered and/or acted upon now that a security lapse has been discovered, and a serious one at that, and the remedy begun.

On another, and totally unrelated topic, Fall has moved in, in a big way in our neck of the woods. Walking dogs through the neighborhood not only promotes health, tired dogs, and the prevention of insomnia, but also fills my eyes with boutiful color and beautifully shaped leaves. What would we do without this yearly smorgasbord of color and shape that is uniquely autumnal? So soothing to see the inexorable transition from warm summer days and nights, to the cooler and reminiscent days of autumn. Another benefit, for me, to fall is that I bring budding roses into the house when cooler temperatures begin to prevail. Generally speaking, I prefer to see my flowers in bloom in the yard, but there is something about salvaging a rose that might not be able to bloom fully due to damp and cooler temperatures. It is a ritual that I look forward to that brings in the color of summer along with its fragrance. Just another benefit of changing seasons that is so pleasing to the senses, giving an opportunity to stop and smell the roses along the way.

Does anyone else need a pensive?

Thank heaven for J.K. Rowling and her Harry Potter books. Not only are they so entertaining and engaging, so many words and situations are now very familiar to me. An example: the 'pensive', which represents a place to put excess thoughts when you are feeling mentally stretched. How I would benefit from such a device/process! I have a plethora of memories that I would love to offload. Or, how about having a house elf? Never do housework again! Wouldn't that be wonderful? Or, how about entering a dark room and murmuring 'lumose'? So many applications that I am forever thinking about them.

The most important analogy for me is the wish for a pensive in which to unload my overloaded brain. As an educator, a full-time student, along with the very heartbreaking need to help aged and dying parents, I need to clear my mind in order to be productive. I chose to begin a degree program in the midst of everything else because I need to have assurance of employment, or at least have a better chance of it. The last few years have proven that during an economic downturn, and slow recovery, that college instructors like me are a dime a dozen, and the work can stop, dry up, and/or cease, over night. I am a person who enjoys college, its courses, and rewards, but have been unable to immerse myself in the enjoyment that should go along with learning something new, as it has in the past. I find myself having difficulty concentrating on my coursework which then leads to panic. I have to get this done, and there is only one way to accomplish it; just do it! Other advice that works here is that offered by Douglas Adams in the "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", that features a book of the same title, and which offers readers the advice to "...DON'T PANIC inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.". Perhaps I should take that advice, and also the advice that I give others who are currently overwhelmed as I am, which is to "breathe deeply", and that chocolate can only help (in the Harry Potter books, chocolate is a restorative). I could also use the advice given somewhere in the Bible wherein a sage person comforts a reader with: "this too shall pass". While there is no stopping in sight, it may be time to come up for air, smell some roses. and endeavor to 'not panic'.  

In a Coffee Shop

I am in a coffee shop waiting for an appointment time to draw near, and am watching a situation. As usual, when I have the need to hang out where there is wireless connectivity, to make the best use of my time in between engagements, I marvel at all of the life occurring around me. A job interview has just occurred to my left, and there are a few business meetings all around. This particular coffee shop is abuzz with activity. It is loud in here! The situation that draws my interest the most, is that of a window washer, who in this cold weather is dressed in a skirt with tights and a sweater. No coat. It's cold outside. They have just moved in to clean the inside windows, so no coat necessary here. This person, appears to me to be a transgender individual who is emaciated (all the more reason for needing a coat). While they are working their way across the windows, they pass close to where I am sitting. I am one of those people who takes any opportunity to talk with strangers, but this individual does not meet my eye. I don't want to push, and I am reluctant to shout over the noise of the shop.

This situation causes me to reflect on why the window washer will not look around them. Is it because they are intent on their task, or because they are used to being ignored, or because they are too fragile in their transition from one gender to the one in which they are most comfortable to acknowledge and meet the eye of someone else? If it is the latter reason, it strikes me as true loneliness, and there is such sadness there. The song "One is the loneliest number" comes to mind, because we as humans are meant to live in groups and provide society for each other. How is it that we still isolate our fellow man. Is it " us vs. them", or does the window washer just want to finish up and move on to their next job, or perhaps home from here? I wonder.  

Fwd: [Anadromous Amblings] Marginalization of women

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Melissa <mckay.melissa@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Nov 7, 2013 at 10:34 AM
Subject: [Anadromous Amblings] Marginalization of women
To: mckay.melissa@gmail.com

Recently, while standing in line at a local coffee shop, my eyes met a headline from the New York Times, related to the attack, gang rape, and the ultimate death of a young Indian woman. Along with Google's ad that aired recently with pictures of women with their mouths taped shut, and a list of can'ts listed underneath, and the coverage of the courageous women in Saudi Arabia who are demonstrating to earn the right to drive, I have been pondering the issues that women face across the globe. It occurs to me that women are the largest and and perhaps the most oppressed group of humans on the planet. Many other groups can, unfortunately, compete for that position, but even amongst those groups there are women and girls. Female Circumcision (aka Female Genital Mutilation), is yet another atrocity practiced on women and girls in some cultures, and when female fetuses are aborted across the globe because some societies prefer to produce sons, we continue to brutally suppress half of the population for the purpose of domination, and denying females the benefits of education, opportunity and the fulfillment that comes from living up to one's potential. 

Even in the developed world, where women are treated with relative equality, women earned the right to vote long after other groups had been granted that fundamental right. Here in America, women do not make equal pay when compared to men, nor do women command and/or receive the respect and regard of our countrymen. Remember the debate that raged a few years ago, when a young woman testified before Congress affirming her right to make her own healthcare decisions, based on what is best for, and determined by her? She was heckled and subjected to sexual slurs, and name calling. Some of our elected officials went as far as to not condemn colleagues' behavior, whether they actually participated in the defamation of an American citizen. just because she is a woman and concerned about maintaining her freedom to make her own decisions about her reproductive health. How could it possibly matter to a male, whether a woman has the right to choose how to live her life? 

By suppressing women and their human rights: fertility rates remain too high in many countries with the obvious pressure on the planet. Among other consequences associated with suppressing a group of humans, we miss opportunity to benefit from others' perspective when grappling with tough societal and policy issues. In another checkout line, also recently, I heard a young woman talking with a checker about why we cannot seem to treat all humans, as humans. A very good, and important question indeed.  

--
Posted By Melissa to Anadromous Amblings at 11/07/2013 10:34:00 AM

Marginalization of women

Recently, while standing in line at a local coffee shop, my eyes met a headline from the New York Times, related to the attack, gang rape, and the ultimate death of a young Indian woman. Along with Google's ad that aired recently with pictures of women with their mouths taped shut, and a list of can'ts listed underneath, and the coverage of the courageous women in Saudi Arabia who are demonstrating to earn the right to drive, I have been pondering the issues that women face across the globe. It occurs to me that women are the largest and and perhaps the most oppressed group of humans on the planet. Many other groups can, unfortunately, compete for that position, but even amongst those groups there are women and girls. Female Circumcision (aka Female Genital Mutilation), is yet another atrocity practiced on women and girls in some cultures, and when female fetuses are aborted across the globe because some societies prefer to produce sons, we continue to brutally suppress half of the population for the purpose of domination, and denying females the benefits of education, opportunity and the fulfillment that comes from living up to one's potential. 

Even in the developed world, where women are treated with relative equality, women earned the right to vote long after other groups had been granted that fundamental right. Here in America, women do not make equal pay when compared to men, nor do women command and/or receive the respect and regard of our countrymen. Remember the debate that raged a few years ago, when a young woman testified before Congress affirming her right to make her own healthcare decisions, based on what is best for, and determined by her? She was heckled and subjected to sexual slurs, and name calling. Some of our elected officials went as far as to not condemn colleagues' behavior, whether they actually participated in the defamation of an American citizen. just because she is a woman and concerned about maintaining her freedom to make her own decisions about her reproductive health. How could it possibly matter to a male, whether a woman has the right to choose how to live her life? 

By suppressing women and their human rights: fertility rates remain too high in many countries with the obvious pressure on the planet. Among other consequences associated with suppressing a group of humans, we miss opportunity to benefit from others' perspective when grappling with tough societal and policy issues. In another checkout line, also recently, I heard a young woman talking with a checker about why we cannot seem to treat all humans, as humans. A very good, and important question indeed.  

Autumn Pleasures

Having taken another long walk today with my faithful canine companions, I was struck by all of the different varieties of beauty that met my eyes. Right out of the door, into a very foggy morning, there were a number of exquisite spider webs in my immediate line of vision. Up the hill a few blocks is a yard that has juniper spires set close together. Every year at this time I look for the spider webs that are clustered there. In the fog, the webs seem amplified for my enjoyment. Other examples include the broad spectrum of leaf colors that will be gone once the next storm featuring wind occurs. Though, because of our extraordinary summer this year, and the fact that the mild weather has hung on longer than we could have possibly hoped, I saw a lemon-yellow azalea in full bloom on my way back down the hill to home. I am also still enjoying the roses that continue to bloom, as well as the many fabulous varieties of dahlias that seem to be defying the encroachment of fall.  I am reminded that while autumn provides a splendor of color and texture, which is a banquet for the eyes, it is very fleeting. So many reasons to look around for beauty that can be found in so many places, and made by so many creatures/processes. I look forward to the bright sparkle of frost that will be coming on a cold, clear, winter day. My walking companions will be anxious to participate in looking around whether beauty is on display or not. They stop to sniff so many scents, pleasant to me or not, along the way, and this must be facilitated. That is the way of dogs. 

Walking with dogs

After a long hiatus, I am back to share my perspective of Fall weather in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, and whatever else has come to mind. I am a dog-walker and we walk through our neighborhood a few times a week, varying our route at times to see different streets, yards, and colors. Fall being a very colorful time of year, along with the other seasons, but with different dominating colors. What's not to like about crimson, bright yellows and oranges, greens and browns, and their variegated cousins? I have found that color helps me to cope with life's challenges so I try to look for, and appreciate it everywhere. 

Another situation springs to mind when thinking about my walks with our very active, and sometimes maniacal dogs, and that is the workers that I see while I am out walking. As most of us know, many of the developments I walk through are those built by one contractor, and clustered into covenanted sections of streets. The general landscaping in these developments are maintained commercially, and they keep the parking strips and common areas mowed, pruned, and cleaned up. Many, if not most, of the companies that maintain these developments are staffed by people who are from ethnic backgrounds that are different from my own. Why do I mention this? Or, why is it noteworthy? It is because I make a habit of nodding or saying "Good Morning" to anyone I meet on my walks. If I am passing another walker, I can usually speak my greeting. If someone is across the street and passing me, I try to make eye-contact, and at least nod and smile. When I pass the workers who are maintaining the landscaping, I am almost never able to catch an eye. I keep trying to establish eye-contact while we are passing, but in general to no avail. Again why is this noteworthy? I suspect that it is because these are people who feel subjugated into a lower class that does not get acknowledged. As a reader of historical fiction, I have gained the impression that 'servants' or 'domestic workers' are to be neither seen or heard when encountered. It seems to me that we have continued this practice with anyone who works in a service capacity. I see  this as an excellent example marginalization; it is not new. 

Economically, the service sector is a major employer today, and will represent more and more companies and jobs going forward. Having worked in the service sector myself for many years, I know first-hand how people seem to look through you when encountered. It is not a comfortable experience. Why is it easier to ignore our fellow humans than to acknowledge them? It is a sad and scary thought that we humans have not evolved beyond this type of 'us' and 'them' such that everyone who is human is 'us', and worthy of our greetings and acknowledgement. I suspect that until we do evolve past marginalization of our own species, war and conflict will dominate the human experience. 

All about Trash, with a capital 'T'

Some people 'Dance[ing] with Stars', while I Walk with Maniacs. Walking with Maniacs describes my exercise regime with my two canine walking partners. The magnitude of the unbridled enthusiasm that they bring to the activity can almost be too much for me to handle, thus the designation of 'Maniacs'. 

While we are out walking, we (I) endeavor to pick up the trash that is ever-present on whatever walk route we choose. Today, having set out on a walk, I began to pick up the ubiquitous trash, while noticing that the trash I picked up two days ago, had been replaced with a new supply. It is my practice to not stray into anyone's yard (personal space), or the blackberry bushes that line much of the walk routes we frequent, which prevents me doing a thorough and comprehensive clean up. Today, I was unable to avoid feeling overwhelmed by the magnitude of accumulated garbage. Why is it that we have so little regard for our surroundings that we cannot take the most minimal time and effort needed to appropriately dispose of wrappers, cans/bottles, papers, etc. while waiting for the bus, walking to the mail box, or even in our own yards? 

Another major source of ecological fouling is the accumulation of old vehicles, such as cars, boats, campers, and trucks. This practice of abandonment not only represents eye sores, but also facilitates the leaching of heavy metals into the surrounding soil and ground water over time, amongst other toxicity opportunities. I know of one yard in particular (we all know, or may be, an offender) where a car was parked in the driveway very nearly 30 years ago, and has not been moved since. Old and disintegrating vehicles are everywhere, despite the pleas from charities to facilitate their removal. How hard can it be? It just takes a phone call, or maybe not even that if you are ever logged onto the Internet. 

What to do? Everyone, pick up the trash in your own yard/domestic space, and take the initiative to pick up trash that presents itself on your way to the car, to the garbage can, to the bus stop, to name a few mitigating opportunities. Recycle what you pick up, so that it can be processed to be used again. Build awareness in your social circle to help others become trash collectors too. 

To me, it is very disheartening to allow the awareness of garbage accumulation everywhere, various yards, sidewalks, ditches, storm drains, and blackberry bushes to name a representative sample, to seep into my consciousness. This is where humor or at least silliness can take the edge off the overwhelming nature of the sheer quantity of trash needing to be picked up and disposed of appropriately. My choice of silliness for this situation is to recall "The Cat In The Hat" (Dr. Suess) wherein: "this mess is so big, and so deep, and so tall, we can not pick it up, there is no way at all.", and when the Cat came back in with his clean-up machine saying "I always pick up all my playthings, and so, I will show you another good trick that I know!". The Cat's machinery featured four hands set about the pick up. 

The take-home message is that many hands make short work of a big job. Let's clean it up! 

The Tough Cooks to Cope

In the last year or so, I have found myself cooking when feeling vulnerable emotionally, and communicated my cooking choices here. Today, I am not cooking to cope perse, but because I love to love my family and friends through wonderful food. I have had my eye on an apricot scone recipe for some time now, and decided that today was the day to make them.

Also, in need of cleaning out my refrigerator without throwing food away I will be making a turkey chowder recipe that will help to feed my family without waste. In particular, I am planning to use the few slices of bacon, mushrooms, celery, carrots, and turkey, along with wild rice and leftover gravy, before they begin to spoil.

There is such comfort for me (aka The Tough) in cooking delicious and wholesome food for my family/friends that I like to indulge regularly in this pursuit. Cooking to cope has provided me with an outlet for distress as well as the calming that comes from focusing on a recipe such that it will produce wonderful food. I highly recommend 'Cooking to Cope' for anyone who loves to cook real food. 

There is a distinction to be made here when it comes to 'real food'. Have you ever looked at the weekly grocery store ads and noticed how much food there is being sold that does not really qualify as something to eat that will nourish and provide energy for a body? The unbelievable prevalence of processed food in every area of a grocery store is, in my opinion as well as throughout the medical community, responsible for many maladies such as obesity and some autoimmune conditions, and a general state of malnourishment. If one or more of the ingredients on a food label is as long as your arm, it is probably not food and your body may not know how to break it down. Artificial flavors and colors are at the top of the list of food-products to avoid for me when I am shopping. Food for thought! 

CBS: Watch the Casey Anthony Case on your iPhone? I think not!

What do I see when I log in to my home page this morning? The above-referenced headline from CBS: Watch the Casey Anthony Case on your iPhone. It might be that I am in the midst of the post-sinus-surgery-crankies, but..... somehow I doubt it. If anyone has time to spend watching a trial on an iPhone, keeping in mind the size of the iPhone screen, they have far too much time on their hands. I am somewhat familiar with the case, as everyone in the western hemisphere with any electronic device must be, and me from logging into my home page, it is yet another desperate and unbalanced woman, in desperate trouble, for the whole world to see. What would possess anyone not connected to the case to voyeuristically log in and watch? What is it about American society that we cannot help but consume time watching misery for others when it pales in comparison to those fighting for their lives across the world, from the 'safety' of our iPhones? Those in straitened circumstances need our attention and compassion much more than anyone from the outside of the Anthony Case can command. And, with many of our troops around the world in peril, they need our immediate and constant attention and compassion as well as energy and intelligence applied to get them home. The only excuse I can imagine from CBS, is that it sells advertising, This is hardly an excuse, but it is a reason. What it says about our societal values is far more disturbing than the headline suggests. 

Introducing Dot!

Introducing Dot! Dot is an outlier data point, and with that comes a different perspective on anything, and potentially everything. Dictionary .com defines an outlier as: "[a] data point on a graph or in a set of results that is very much bigger or smaller than the next nearest data point."

During my brief sojourn as an experimental scientist, I was regularly confronted by Dot, and had to explain Dot if possible. Dot as an entity is, almost by definition, an irritant and something that must be explained empirically whether as an anomaly, or true data point that is part of a societal trend, or any other kind of data set. Over time I have begun to see Dot differently, and suggest that the view from that standpoint could be both valuable and instructive. I look forward to considering questions, data sets, and current events from Dot's perspective, and hope you will too.  

Eminent Persons and their sex lives

Is anyone else absolutely sick to death about learning of other peoples' sex lives and indiscretions? I feel confident that I am not alone in my irritation at having my sphere of life and activity besmirched by the sordid details of the sex lives of others. There is a solution to my irritation over these events of course, which is to dial down every media source that would befoul their sites and/or airways with such topics. I used to be a news-maniac, continuously seeking out news about current affairs (not the sordid variety) both local and not, and could never have anticipated that I would run away from news in general. As someone who works primarily from home, and who relies on radio and online news sources, I have sequestered myself from the commercial news media to a great extent. I now feel that I need to further withdraw from sources that will, and also those that might, report on such stories as those featuring Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Arnold Schwarzenegger, John Edwards, and the like (not leaving out the semi-distant escapades of Bill Clinton, that have relegated him to a quiet corner of world affairs that his brain-power could have so easily served from a much more significant platform. I wonder if he feels marginalized by his inability to control his behavior?). It may be that I will organize my online news array into the following categories: 

Will report on something smutty (100% chance of seeing something distasteful): DO NOT click on anything!

May report on something smutty: Proceed with caution

Might report on something smutty: Still a risk, but not a significant one

No news at all: I have a bag over my head while working on the computer to avoid seeing anything distasteful 

I am also an avid listener of my local NPR station, mostly for company, but also for headline news. Even NPR has and does report on breaking smutty news stories such as the one wherein a congressman of some variety (House or Senate) photographed his private part(s) and uploaded said pictures onto YouTube. I ask you! How many of us want to hear about that? Why is it that the wealthy and/or powerful (I suspect that they go together) have to misbehave to such an extent, such that we are all bombarded with their private, but not any more!, behavior. 

My appeal to the news media: I know that scandals, and especially those related to sex, sell ads on which your income is based. Aren't you sick to death of it too? Can't you dial it down a bit? Those of us who are very interested in keeping up with local, regional, national, and global news, would be very grateful to be able to avoid learning about someone who has exposed himself on the world stage for international critique. I am appealing to all of your best instincts that do not include anything sordid. Please! 

Global Warming?

With the events unfolding in the mid-west and Gulf states, tornadoes in particular, it seems to me that these tragedies leaving hundreds of people dead and significant damage in the wake, are an excellent example of the how global warming is progressing worldwide. Because heat is energy and vice versa, these atmospheric events, like tornadoes, are natures' response to the build up of heat in the atmosphere. While tornadoes are familiar to those living in the middle of the country, the increased frequency and magnitude of these atmospheric storms is what is news. Many expect that global warming, and its cousin climate change will be felt almost exclusively at the poles. And it is a correct assumption that we are seeing the first and most dramatic response at the poles at least initially, it is not the only dynamic at work here. When we mess with the feedback loops that are the planet's weather patterns, we can expect those patterns to be disrupted. The imperative for the global human population is that we cannot predict with any real accuracy what the response will be on global weather, and atmospheric and oceanic systems; there is simply no precedent for changes that are proceeding at the rapid pace we are seeing, such as the melting of the polar ice sheets, and/or the thawing of permafrost at the poles.

As has been the case for a couple of decades now, the question is not whether global warming and the resultant global climate change are occurring, but how we will respond with behavior changes to help mitigate the changes that will play out not for us ourselves alone but for future generations, and the generations of all of the Earth's inhabitants. I had a student several quarters ago who expressed his opinion about whether global warming was actually occurring by stating that he lives in Ohio, and it is very cold there (during the winter). His response meant to me that he was either too lazy or too stupid to read and educate himself about the issue regardless of the fact that our course material covered the issues very well. We no longer have the luxury to choose either of those perspectives (stupid or lazy), but must act to help mitigate some of the detrimental effects on global ecosystems. It no longer really matters how global warming began, except for education, data collection and modeling purposes, but what our response will be to our credit or discredit. 

When the going gets tough....

The old saying that begins with the "When the going gets tough..." has been swirling around my brain for the last few days. Not that the 'going' is getting tough, or at least not very tough, but when I am feeling challenged I like to cook. This has become my therapy in recent years. While I used to view cooking therapy in terms of butter, sugar, and chocolate (not always chocolate, it could be pumpkin, apples, strawberry-rhubarb, etc.), I have now added soup to my therapy list. Soup, as a category of food, has an aura of comfort around it. Who can think about soup without reminiscing about the best bowl or cup you have had. Within the last few months, I have made the following soups for my sweetheart, family, and friends: 

Lentil (curried and traditional)

Split Pea

Turkey and Pasta

Turkey Chowder

Cheesy Potato Soup

Salmon Chowder

After a hiatus from Lentil and Pea soups for a number of years, they have come flooding back into my menu planning thoughts. And, well deserved too. I have also been thinking about a recipe for white bean/pasta/ham soup that dear friend gave to me many years ago. When I make her soup recipe, I think about her in the warmest way. Isn't it amazing how food translates to love? We have a large-ish extended family, and many friends in the area and I have felt absolutely compelled, and maybe even mandated to cook for everyone. The time for such endeavors has been hard to come by, but when the rewards of cooking wonderful food for family and friends are so magnificent, the time has been made even if it is in-and-around grading papers, developing the next unit of coursework. Even when I am terribly busy I find that a simmering pot of soup on the stove fills the air with good smells and warm feelings. 

So, for those of you who may feel bombarded with soup and/or cookies (cookies; another post!), please allow me to love you through food! There is only so much love and warm feelings that a wife/mother/grandmother/daughter/friend (among other status categories) can contain without bursting. Please and thank you! 

Bursting out all over!

With Spring busting out all over, the birds are singing (loud, I might add), the pollen is accumulating on car windshields, and color is beginning to explode, it seems to me that the yearly renewal of life in so many forms is well underway. Last week when I was walking with our dogs, we saw a fair number of cherry and/or plum trees beginning to bloom. This week, there are several blooming trees per city block. Along with some azaleas, and lots of forsythia in their grand and exuberant display, it is more than enough to begin to vanquish the stodginess of winter.

Along with the spring renewal in the environment, I am finding myself in a perpetual state of bursting with feeling. Whatever the cause may be, such a level of feeling is a sure sign of life, and engagement with it. I am beginning to tire of this heightened level of feeling, and am having to try extra-hard to keep from smothering those nearest and dearest to me. My own level of feeling reminds me of a character in Lily Tomlin's one-woman show, The Search for Intelligent Life in the Universe. The character, Chrissy (if my memory serves me correctly), is overwhelmed by her feelings and about which another character within the show marvels, having been a person who at times has felt too little. While I am not entirely comfortable with feeling about to burst, I suspect it is much preferable to feeling too little. Until I can identify the source of this situation in order to dial it down a bit, I will continue to try to find constructive ways in which to release it. Just like the flowers and trees, it is a likely a season.

More Apparent Beauty

In my neighborhood at least, the signs of Spring are becoming more and more apparent. Included in these signs are the first bits of early Spring color, the crocus flowers, and daffodils that are up in some parts of the region, though not in ours. New arrivals in our neighborhood include forsythia and cherry blossom trees. We can see a massive forsythia plant or grouping at the top of our hill. When this color begins and expands we are treated to a few weeks of glorious yellow color that is magnificent in its splendor. I am sure that I am not the only one to look forward to this bloom all year. I have now seen a few early budding cherry trees, that are preparing to burst forth and treat us to their display.

It is my considered opinion that the bursting forth of color in early Spring is an event that soothes the soul and gives hope for longer, and more clement weather to come, and to the promise of summer. How many of us are impervious to color and beauty? It goes back to my earlier theme of loveliness as a component for therapy in troubled times. Who can enjoy looking at the amazing splendor of the tulip color and crop, and not be at least temporarily relieved of our worries? Let us take a good long look, and return often to treat ourselves and to help us step back and see what nature has in store through spring renewal.

As is my custom, I took our two office dogs out for a walk this morning. It is a beautiful morning and others, both human and canine, thought so too. The office dogs are prone to maniacal behavior when confronted with people/dog combinations that is not really a threat to anyone, but is a statement all the same. We encountered three sets of people/dog combinations (who had the nerve to enjoy the beautiful morning outside), and a number of dogs behind their fences, to whom the office dogs felt the need to remonstrate. While the benefits of tired dogs are substantial, I may need a few days break to recover my resolve to provide the opportunity to walk and exercise in the fresh air for all three of us.